Pregnant at 17

Pregnant at seventeen. Not quite the goal I had for my senior year of high school.



You know how it is, the peer pressure. The whole "everyone else is doing it, so I guess I should too.." scenerio. Been there, done that. Obviously I didn't pay as much attention in sex ed as those other kids who managed to not get knocked up within the second time of having sex.



I was in the bathroom at Wal*Mart when I starred down blankly at a test strip which appeared to have a 'positive' sign glaring back at me. As hard as I studied it, and the longer I stared the + would not change into a -. I closed my eyes, looked up to the cieling, then opened them up and looked back down...and there it was a nice big pink + sign.



"This could not be happening..." I told myself. It was the last week of Jr year of high school, no way in hell did I want to start my senior year PREGNANT.



Summer came and went and soon senior year started. Everyone obviously begins to start "showing" at different times because my very nice flat tummy still remained the very flat tummy. No signs of a growing human in there.



Senior year is supposed to be the best year. It's the year when you could finally say that you have succeeded and are ready to start a life of your own, go out and live the "real life". Make your plans for college and figure out what pathway in life you want to take.



Senior year is not about worrying about giving birth right after the first semester, or about changing diapers, feeding, burping, and having sleep deprived nights. But hey, thats what was in it for me. As hard as I tried to avoid it, the fact that I was a 'pregnant teenager' would not go away.

We all hear about 'dead beat fathers'. Well, the father of my unborn was added to that list.

It was hard being a young, single expectant mother. Even harder trying to finish school at the same time. I had nobody by my side to motivate me, no one to lend me a helping hand and to tell me it would be OK. Instead, I had family telling me that I had screwed up my life, had friends who stopped calling me and hanging out with me. I was alone. Completely alone.

Through my journey I have realized what I needed the most was a friend, someone who understood and has 'been there'. I needed someone to tell me that in the end, everything would be OK. Since I never had that and I went through my journey and obstacles alone, I have decided to be that voice for all young mothers who feel they are alone, because truth is, they are not alone.

I had my daughter in February of 2005, right after the first semester of senior year ended. I went on Independent Studies the week before I gave birth to her. My labor and delivery was very, very complicated. I bled severely and dislocated my pelvic bone after pushing for nearly 3 hours and having no sucess so the vacuum suction was called in. They then requested emergency blood transfusions since I had lost so much blood. I had internal and external lacerations (could you imagine that?!) and had to be stitched up quite a few times. But, the reward was worth it. I had my precious baby girl. All 8lbs, 4 oz and 20" of her. She had a head full of golden brown hair, grey/blue eyes, big chubby rosy cheeks and she was all mine.

I could not have asked for more than that moment. That moment when I heard her first cry and when she was placed into my arms for the very first time. Suddenly nothing mattered anymore, all that mattered was that little piece of heaven I held. I remember tears filled my eyes the second I looked into her eyes, and the tears just rolled down my cheeks and I couldn't help but just begin to cry and cry. For the first time I cried tears of happiness and joy and all sorts of emotions.

I was discharged from the hospital about 2 and a half weeks later since I had gone through so much. During my hospital stay, I needed more blood transfusions, physical therapy because I was unable to walk after dislocating my pelvic bone, and I had continous fevers that would not go away.

I went home with a walker and a pelvic brace. But, most of all, I had come home to a whole new life with a brand new baby.

I'm pretty sure every first parent that brings their child home that very first time always asks themselfs "Now what?". I was home, had my baby..."Now what?". I remember sitting on the couch and she was in the carseat sound asleep, and I just starred at her. I did this for almost 45 minutes before I drifted off to sleep. I had gone through some very exhausting past 2 weeks and my body was hungry for sleep.

I shut my eyes...and I swear it was not even 5 minutes later when my little girl began screaming at the top of her lungs. It jumped me up from my sleep and suddenly I had remembered "Thats right, I have a baby now." At the hospital I had the nurses to help me out, at home, I was on my own.

And...that is when my life had really just started...