How To Tell Your Parents

Ok, so this isn't the easiest thing to do...trust me...I know!



So imagine, a 16 or 17 year old girl who just finds out she's pregnant and has to face reality when her parents find out. The parents who always had such good hopes for her in the future. Really sucks.



I'm going to be honest, I was one of those girls that hid it as much as I possibly could until I was later confronted by my mother and asked if I was pregnant. Looking back, I know my mistake was that I should've been the one to tell her. It made things harder when she had to find out on her own after her own suspicions and confront me about it, and later be hurt about the fact that I couldn't go to her directly to tell her.



I know the very first thing you feel is 'fear'. Your afraid of how your parents will react because you know that they are going to be disappointed in you and you feel ashamed and all kinds of emotions at once.



The best way to do it, is just tell them. Straight out and simple. From my experience, the longer you wait, the harder it will be. If your parents are usually pretty strict and you know very well they are not going to approve of you being pregnant, then dont expect them to come up to you and hug you and tell you it will all be OK. Sure, there are some pretty supportive parents out there but my mom really wasn't one of those.



The day my mom confronted me had to be one of my worst days ever. I was about 3 months pregnant and the truth had finally come out. After that it was a whole lot of tears, fighting, screaming and two big broken hearts. My mom demanded that I get an abortion, something I was against doing. She said she had other hopes for me and that I didn't turn out being the girl she thought I was (ouch! Way to make a girl hurt!). She said so many hurtful things to me, things that till this day...4 and a half years later...I still remember. Finally, in the end of our almost three hour long arguement she told me "If your going to be stupid and decide to mess up your life by keeping that baby, then you could find somewhere else to live. Your not staying here with a baby and I will not support you at all."



That led to me running away two days later, the night before my seventeenth birthday. I left my family a letter saying that it was too bad they couldnt be there to support me, but I wasn't going to kill my child and because of that I had to leave since neither me or my child was wanted there. Harsh, I know. I went through hell.



The next day, my family found that I was gone in my bedroom when they had gone in there to say Happy Birthday. I later got a phone call from my sister which I obviously did not answer, so she left a voicemail saying that I was stupid and I ruined the family and because of me my mom was now in the hospital.



Apparently my mom passed out on the floor after reading my letter. I felt I had no choice left but to go home and face my family.



I went home and not too long later my mom got back home from the hospital. No one said a word to me. They acted as if I wasn't even there. No 'happy birthday'...nothing. I felt invisible.



Looking back, I know most of all of that could have been easily avoided. Had I just sat down and had a face to face conversation with my mom and just told her, she would have immediately put that trust into me and the respect for me coming to her. Of course, she still would not been happy and would have put in her two cents, but atleast it would've meant something to her knowing that I went to her from the very beginning rather than hiding it.



Now that I am a mother, I understand where she was coming from. Of course, I would never force my daughter to do something she wouldn't want to do but I would be disappointed because I only want the best for her. I would also hate to see the fact that she is following my foot steps, but having been there before, I know I will be with her every step of the way.



So, if you are stuck on how to tell your parents just face the fact that you have to tell them. You cannot keep it a secret forever. Simply say "Mom, dad when you guys have time I would like for us to talk about something." It's always good to start out with, "I know you guys are going to be disappointed in me, but it will mean a lot to me if you listen to me and help me out because right now I really need you guys."



With that, your telling them you need them. Your putting your trust into them and they are going to feel more trusting of you.



Regardless of how it all ends up, just remember to be calm about it and not fight back. Fighting and argueing back with them will only make matters worst. It's best if you just stay quiet or say "I'm going through some really hard times right now so maybe when you guys have cooled down and thought about it we could talk again."



Simple.



It will take time for them to accept the fact that their teenager is having a baby. It took my mom a very long time to accept. But even she came out of it and in the end was there for me, and now she absolutely loves my daughter and my son and nobody in my family could picture life without them in it.